Sunday, November 28, 2010

You can't make this shit up...

I'm pretty sure this has been done before, but as someone who just recently re-entered the online dating nightmare, I thought I would share my adventures with others! Lucky you...

Received today:

Your smile bring a passionate sunset and sunrise for all to see. Flower and roses will blossom for a lady of your passion for life. I hope you and your family had wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Just wanted to say hi from Redlands Ca. My name is , so do you enjoy the beach or swimming, cycling, or surfing the waters or just the sunny outdoors?? Also do you like to play in the sand ? May you walk the path of passion this day of love for others .

Another one:

Hello Queen, Its a real pleasure sending you an email. You're so beautiful that everyman would want to hold hands with you someday. Looking into your eyes alone, shows me a beautiful world.And i guess i'll be the luckiest man getting to talk to you. If i were to present your picture in heaven, most of the Angels would hide their faces in shame.

And this novel:

How are you doing this wonderful day? I hope my mail find you with God Glorious over you,I go by (name deleted).. I'm 50 years old man,i have been single for few years back.Since then i have never got time for any dating until now i discover that a life without no love is like a sea without no water,So that what makes me look into this online thing after seeing so many people getting their wives from here ..It questions my mind a lot, am really fed up of all this loneliness.While i've decided to love again.... This is my first dating site , am new at everything , just join this couple day now, I'm very much anxious to find a woman to capture my heart,..A very down to heart honest and independent woman.. A woman that's not afraid of loving,someone that's ready to give past away and do the present thing.. someone who knows love and someone that's ready to learn love. I am not looking for a beautiful one though , but i confess you are very beautiful woman , and i see all the good thing am seeking for in a lady in you,.. As a matter of fact , your natural stimulating hair is darn cute and your fascinating looking ,You are a natural stunning beautiful woman. I see one thing inside your eyes that if all man known it they will never want to love any other woman but you and all man will ready to be your slave,.. I'd like to go on record as a big proponent of Internet dating. It gives me a chance to wisely word smith creative conversation with a vivacious vixen, rather than shamefully stammering for the cleverest comeback at the lounge line, exercise emporium or (horrors!) bucolic bar. I'm creative (yeah I know alliteration is dead as a literary device, but wasn't that fun?), passionate, and like to experience life to the fullest. I try to focus on the present moment. I think I'm a compassionate listener, but like most people I could still improve in that area. I'm a risk taker; I'd rather try to change something than complain about it. I've got a great sense of humor and try not to take myself too seriously. I'm shy at first (that stammering thing described above), but I enjoy flirting and interaction once I open up. I'm not much for casual conversation. I prefer talking about others' passions and religion and politics rather than work and the weather. I'm looking for someone who has a strong personality, intellect, and soul. A person who is also not afraid to be vulnerable, and is not afraid of risk. Someone who takes pride in her appearance, exercises regularly, but doesn't need to look like a super model, but then, you have a beautiful face and i sense more beauty in you , lol , .I think whoever says sunshine brings happiness hasn't danced in the rain,..So many golden fishes out here,lol. i wouldn't think it is a good idea to find a partner online but then i had to do the re-think when my best personal asst just got married and only to a very wonderful woman he met on here,lol. then to say the gospel truth, after a good re-search, you may want to accept that the best way to love is to meet people in a way that your feelings will be without sentiments , and also not getting attracted to looks until you have the hearts opened to a good level of understanding, and yours sincerely, this is the only way to find such person. forgive me for my rude way of introduction,lol... You may want to check out my profile before saying a thing , because after going through yours,. i wouldn't go further, lol ,. lets give this a trial, i actually got a funny feeling looking into your beautiful picture and i think we may get to talk and see what that feeling is,...who knows, could be love,lol. but sincerely speaking i think at my age , i am not afraid of loving again, i really want a happy life now,. I want someone to take care for me and i would do more in return , and i need a woman who will not only be the wife, but also my best friend, do you mind to laugh more and fall in love with me? don't be scared, loving is beautiful, there is no better living,lol. .so if you are interested in me please do get back to me through my private email address or Yahoo IM to further this conversation thanks.

Gentlemen, please take your medication. Please.

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